Jan's perspective

The way to a man's heart...

I heard this story about a man who said the same thing after every dinner: 'Wife, I've never before eaten anything this delicious!' (As you can tell, the story is set in an age when men expected to be fed. It's also set far later than the hunter-gatherer period, so it's safe to assume he hadn't been out shopping for ingredients either.)

That's an interesting statement from a mathematical perspective. Assuming the man's sense of taste – like his statements – was consistent, the woman's cooking would have to improve on a daily basis. That's quite a feat.

Could we also argue that the woman's cooking was the same every day? After all, if the wife were to cook at the same Michelin-star level every day, the man would enjoy the best food of his life on a daily basis. But does that make the statement 'I've never eaten anything this delicious before' true?

It does not. The man says: 'Wife, I've never eaten anything this delicious before!', which must be a lie if the woman's cooking is the same every day. (The only exception would be the very first day she cooks for him. On that day, however, she could not have cooked as well as the previous day.) This is basically the linguistic version of the difference between > (greater than) and ≥ (greater than or equal to). ‘1 ≥ 1’ is an accurate statement, ‘1 > 1’ is not. If he had said 'Wife, I've never eaten better' or 'Wife, this was the most delicious thing I've ever eaten', his compliment would basically have the same value. However, he would have relieved his wife of the obligation to improve her cooking on a daily basis. In other words, mind your language when you're praising your partner's cooking.

Although there's no accounting for taste, the word 'delicious' is subject to comparison, in that something can be (or be perceived as) more delicious than something else. This doesn't apply in the case of 'vegetarian'. The statement 'that was the most vegetarian meal I've ever had' can only be true once. A vegetarian diet may be good for the environment, but it also makes for less exciting mathematics.

Jan Beuving studied at Utrecht University for nine years, completing a Bachelor's programme in Mathematics (2008) and a Master’s programme in the History and Philosophy of Science (2009). After that, he became a comedian and cabaret artist. This column appeared in Illuster 85.