The upbringing you received influences your view of children

How does the upbringing you received relate to the way you parent and view children? That is one of the questions that Assistant Professor Sanne Geeraerts is exploring. Her research focuses on relationships between parents and children. She links this to how these now-adult participants view and raise children.

What is your research about?

“I focus primarily on the parent-child relationship. I do this, amongst other things, through the long-term RADAR study, in which we have been following children and their parents since the children were 12 years old. These children are now adults. Some now have children of their own, some wish to have children, and some do not.

Because we have been following these people for over twenty years, we can examine how aspects of their childhood influence how they raise their own children later in life. For instance, in one of our studies, we found that the way parents resolve conflicts is passed down from generation to generation and influences the way parents raise their children.”

One of the things we measure is the motivation to protect and care for children. We ask questions such as: ‘When I see a baby, I really want to hold it’, or ‘When I hear a child crying, I think: shut up.’ You can ask these questions to anyone, including people who don’t have or don’t want children. This allows us to say something about how parenting relates to one’s view of children, without all participants having children. What we see is that closeness between parents and adolescents in particular predicts whether these adolescents will later like children, want to look after them or want to protect them.”

We know from our recently published meta-analysis that children who experience a lot of acceptance and little negativity generally have less difficulty raising their own children later on. On average, the sense of closeness dips slightly during adolescence. That is neither surprising nor a cause for concern. During adolescence, some teenagers rebel against their parents. And generally speaking, that relationship is restored. This dip, therefore, does not seem to play a role in how people view children later on. 

What we also see is that there are significant differences between parents in the extent to which their own upbringing influences their parenting. We are attempting to explain these differences. One way we are doing this is through a project in which we are trying to combine several long-term studies. This allows us to examine, within a large group of parents, the circumstances under which the so-called intergenerational transmission of parenting practices is stronger or weaker.”

What advice would you like to give to parents?

“For people who had a difficult childhood themselves, starting a family of their own can be daunting. It is good for them to know that the links we find between upbringing and how people view children are modest. Even if you’ve had a difficult childhood, you can still meet many other people in your life with whom you can build a life and form healthy relationships. Your upbringing plays a role, but so do other relationships. If you find that negative childhood experiences still have a significant impact on your daily life, it may be a good idea to seek help and talk to someone about it.” 

When you look at the bigger picture, it’s a different story. For policymakers and politicians, who make decisions affecting entire population groups, even small effects do matter. If hundreds of thousands of people, on average, experience a small effect from their own upbringing in the way they raise their children, the impact on society can be very significant. Investing in parents, therefore, pays off. It pays dividends in the long term: for future generations too.

Our research shows that it is important for children to experience a positive bond with their parents and to experience little negativity within the family. We know that stress plays a significant role in this. Reducing stress in parents contributes to a positive bond with their children. Invest in good childcare, alleviate financial worries, and ensure decent housing. These are the conditions that help prevent parents’ stress levels from becoming overwhelming. Politicians can certainly play a part in this.”