The joyful, messy freedom of non-binary pronouns

It is hardly surprising that the theme of ‘freedom’ plays a role in history and philosophy – but what about in linguistics? We asked Hielke Vriesendorp. “In my research, I do come across connections with the concept of freedom at times,” Vriesendorp writes. “The debate around LGBTQ+ rights often revolves around what society sees as ‘normal’ and understandable. At the same time, aspects of gender and sexuality don’t always fit neatly into that mould. This is when I get a glimpse of what it means to claim that freedom anyway.”

Non-binary pronouns

While as a linguist, I mainly focus on the technicalities of how language varies and evolves, I recently got a (small) glimpse of how people can carve out space and claim freedom through language. In a research project, I surveyed 656 Dutch speakers, in order to get a sense of the current state of non-binary pronouns in Dutch. These participants had indicated that they found it important to speak about non-binary people in an inclusive way or at least felt neutral towards doing so.

There was a fair degree of consensus among participants: the words die, diens, hen, and hun were most commonly used. Among the 169 non-binary participants, 74 per cent said they also used these pronouns to refer to themselves – for example, when introducing themselves. Even more participants said they were happy for others to use any of these forms when referring to them, even if they hadn’t mentioned them themselves.

There is far more variation than is captured in style guides or dictionaries.

Non-binary pronouns becoming part of a language

Non-binary pronouns are gradually becoming part of everyday Dutch. They have already made their way into the Van Dale dictionary and style guides of several media outlets – which also recommend die, diens, hen, and hun.

What probably helps is that these pronouns largely follow existing grammar rules, as I found in my study. Hen is more likely to be used as an object or after a preposition, just like the traditional plural hen: e.g., ik was met hen op pad (‘I was out with them’).

Die tends to appear more as a subject, a role it often takes as demonstrative: Waar is Joke? – Die is net weg! (‘Where’s Joke? – She’s just left!’), but also Waar is Bas? – Die is net weg! (‘Where’s Bas? – He’s just left!’).

It seems that even within the gender-free/genderless/gender-idealistic community, practical concerns, such as grammatical structures, play a role.

No die, diens, hen, or hun

At the same time, some participants said they didn’t feel comfortable using non-binary pronouns. A few of my non-binary participants found them awkward or difficult to use, either for themselves or others. Some preferred to use them only with close friends, but not more publicly. For many, it can be important – and safer – not to come across as ‘too difficult’.

Joyful messiness

At the same time, many non-binary people follow their own path. There is far more variation than is captured in style guides or dictionaries. Some of my participants said they were fine with any pronouns – or delighted with them all. Others preferred to alternate between he and she, and one person indicated didn’t want anything to do with any pronouns at all.

As a linguist, the opinions I may have on the language I study are mostly irrelevant, but at a more personal level I see something delightfully free and joyful in the ‘messiness’ of these data. They might seem a bit impractical or ‘difficult’, but maybe that makes them all the more free.